Miroku's Drunken Night
by kikyohater92
Summary: What happens when Miroku becomes drunk onenight? The group gets traumatized, of course! ANd a couple of other people NO LEMONS!


**Hey all my loyal fans! This is just a hilarious oneshot I thought up and decided to write. It's basically about Miroku getting drunk and Inuyasha and Kagome going to get him. **

**IMPORTANT: THIS FANFIC MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT HAVE LEMONS! EW! **

**Some InuKag fluff, but who doesn't love that?**

**Oh, and if you don't love InuKag fluff but love InuKikyo fluff, write me an email and I will literally kick your butt over the internet!**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Inuyasha or any other Inuyasha characters.**

**-kikoyhater92- **

Oneshot about the Drunken Night

Kagome ran through the store, hurriedly grabbing a six pack of coke, and heaved it onto the counter. Turning around to her friend's voice, she failed to notice a man behind her come up and put a six pack pf beer next to her cokes on the counter. Kagome finally got away from Ayumi and, paying the clerk the money, took the bag with the six pack in it, not noticing that she had just grabbed a pack of beer. She hopped into the car with her waiting mom in it and they headed home so Kagome could get to the feudal era in time.

"Wow, it's already dusk! Inuyasha's gonna be mad." She commented to herself and Mrs. Higurashi looked over to her fretting daughter. "No need to worry honey. I know that Inuyasha is a good kid and he won't be too harsh."

Looking out the window, Kagome rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mother's comment. _She's so knowing, but Inuyasha isn't a 'kid' and he is a jerk about being late._

As soon as they reached the shrine, Kagome jumped out of the car, gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek, and left for the well. Opening the well room's door, she quickly heaved herself over and into the well. Kagome felt the usual queasy feeling in her stomach and, arriving on the other side, breathed a sigh of relief as she noticed her favorite hanyou no where in sight.

"You looking for someone?" Inuyasha's voice said behind her and Kagome jumped, screaming. "Oh! It's you Inuyasha! Don't give me a heart attack again!"

Inuyasha feh'd and shouted back, "Don't change the subject! Where ya been?" Kagome opened her mouth and then closed it back again. Fuming, she turned around and stormed to Kaede's hut, Inuyasha on her heels.

"See! You're avoiding it!" Kagome stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around to face the now cowering Inuyasha. "It's not your concern what I do and I can come and go when I like! Why are you so worried about me? Is there something you wanna tell me!" she yelled, releasing her pent up anger. Inuyasha blinked at Kagome, surprised, and it was now his turn to walk down the path, blushing immensely.

"Oh no you don't!" Kagome roared and grabbed him by the collar, nearly choking him. Inuyasha turned around slowly, hoping that she had suddenly become happier.

"Yes?" he asked in a small voice. Kagome noticed how nervous he was and calmed down. When he saw her expression soften, Inuyasha felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Inuyasha," she began, "Just don't be so mean, okay? I don't mean to be late…" Inuyasha smiled and just lightly retorted, "Whatever," before turning back around and walking again, his hands in his sleeves. Kagome knew that she had gotten to him and, victorious, walked right along side him.

Arriving at the village, Kagome immediately spotted a huge fire cat running in circles around Kaede's hut. "What's with Kilala?" Kagome asked curiously, tearing her eyes away from the strange sight to look at Inuyasha questioningly. "Well, she's just been doing that now. I think its boredom." Kagome averted her eyes once again to Kilala who, noticing Inuyasha and Kagome, meowed happily and went inside the hut only to have Sango walk outside a moment later, Kilala in her arms.

"It's nice to see you back again!" she said happily and ran up to Kagome, hugging her. Turning to Inuyasha, she smiled and walked to the hut. "What am I, chopped liver?" Inuyasha yelled to Sango's retreating back and, receiving no answer, feh'd and walked towards the hut once more. Kagome gave him a light pat on the back which seemed to cheer him up almost instantly. Walking into the hut, Kagome would've fallen down from an orange blur at her ankles but Inuyasha caught her just in time. She thanked him and shakily stood up, glancing down at the little fox on her leg, whose eyes were watering.

"Did I hurt you, Kagome?" Shippo asked sadly and Kagome, giggling, replied, "No, don't worry about it." Shippo settled down and sat by Miroku again, who Kagome warmly greeted.

"Where's Kaede?" she asked quizzically, scanning the hut. Inuyasha sat down against the wall and answered lazily, "She went to another town for some kinda ceremony. She'll be back in a day or two." Kagome nodded and, sitting down by Inuyasha, pulled out the 'cokes'. Seeing what it really was, Kagome's eyes widened and she exclaimed, "Beer!"

"That's beer?" Inuyasha looked to Kagome. "I didn't know you were that kinda person, Kagome…" he teased, which earned him a glare from the young miko. "Sorry," he said quickly and Kagome sighed. Smacking her hand against her forehead, she muttered, "How could I be so stupid?" Suddenly she felt the weight of the cans decrease in her hand and opened her eyes to find Inuyasha taking one.

"Hey!" she protested but, before she knew it, Miroku had the rest. Sango glared at him and said, "Oh no you don't." Inuyasha stood up with Miroku and they walked outside, only to sit down on the side of the hut. The girls exited also and just stared at the guys, eyebrows quirked.

Inuyasha looked at Miroku and grinned. "You wanna play the drinking game?" Miroku just looked confused and said, "Huh?"

"You know, where I say something I haven't done and if you have done it, you take a swig of beer? Then you reverse it and say something you haven't done?" Inuyasha explained. Miroku appeared lost for a moment before his face lit up. "Oh yeah, the monks used to play it at the monastery."

Kagome shook her head and said in shock, "What kinda monastery are you from?" Sango just rolled her eyes and commented, "I wouldn't ask." The guys glanced at the girls and Miroku finally said, "You girls have to leave."

"What? Why?" they both asked whiningly and Inuyasha agreed with Miroku. "This is no game for you girls to see." Giving them both a withering glare, they walked into the hut again and sat down, starting a game of solitaire while chattering eagerly.

A couple of hours passed with much laughter from outside the hut and it was near midnight when Inuyasha finally appeared in the doorway, smiling in triumph. Crumpling up a can lazily in his hand, he sat beside Kagome. Inuyasha glanced over to Sango and noticed she was sleeping. When he turned back to Kagome, he saw she had a smile on her face.

"See! We had fun without your little 'beer game'! We can do anything you can," Kagome bragged and Inuyasha grinned. "Fine, go get Miroku."

Furrowing her eyebrows, she asked, almost dreading the answer, "Where's Miroku?" Inuyasha cracked up at this question and finally calmed himself.

"Last time I saw him, he was butt naked, wading through a lake, singing about how much he loves butterflies, oh, and drunk as hell." Kagome's jaw dropped and her eyes bulged.

"W-what!" she asked in shock. Inuyasha leaned back against the wall and mocked her by saying, "Well, go get him. If I remember clearly you 'can do anything I can'."

Kagome bit her lip, and finally admitted, "Okay, okay can you please help me this one time?" Inuyasha jumped up and pointed to Kagome. "Ha! I knew you would need my help!"

Kagome gave him a reproachful look and they silently crept out to find the intoxicated monk. Strolling through the dark woods, Kagome shivered. Inuyasha's ear twitched and his sharp hearing caught her shivering. "You cold?" he asked without turning around.

"Obviously," Kagome sarcastically said. Inuyasha took off his top kimono and wrapped it around Kagome. "Thanks," she mumbled and felt a light blush come over her cheeks. If she had looked carefully, she might have seen the light red on her hanyou's cheeks but he quickly turned around, heading to where Miroku's scent was the strongest.

"I hope he hasn't gotten into any serious trouble. You know Miroku, the womanizer. I'd hate to see drunken Miroku, the drunken womanizer." Kagome joked, trying to lighten the mood. Inuyasha laughed and retorted, "You can never tell with that pervert. Who knows what he could've gotten into?"

Suddenly they heard splashing and playful shouts up ahead. "Speak of the devil…" Inuyasha said and they both ducked behind a tree. Each of them stuck their head out from different sides of the tree. Kagome gave a soft gasp and whirled around to the back of the tree, looking the direction opposite of the swimming Miroku.

Inuyasha soon followed her behind the tree and turned to the pale Kagome. "I warned you he was naked." Kagome continued to stare at a tree. "You should've reminded me…" They both stopped their conversation short when they heard another joyous laugh. Inuyasha turned around at it was his time to pale.

"Can he be more perverted?" he asked, now staring at the exact same tree Kagome was. She gave him a quizzical glance. "Whada ya mean by that?" Inuyasha just shook his head as if saying 'don't ask' and said, "On the count of three, we jump out and restrain him. Then I dress him. Don't give me that look; it's for his own good." Inuyasha recoiled at the harsh glare Kagome gave him but then she softened and nodded. "One, two…"

They both leaped from the tree and, catching Miroku off guard, Inuyasha held him in the water **(above his waist people, don't be so weird!) **as Kagome ran to the shore, grabbing Miroku's robes and dragging them back to the struggling boys. Reaching them and handing Inuyasha the clothes, she turned around as Inuyasha forcefully put Miroku's clothes on, with much protest from the monk. Finally he was all dressed and they walked him to shore.

"I can't believe that Miroku is so drunk!" Kagome said in astonishment as she watched the monk come closer to them, an evil grin on his face. Inuyasha had his back turned to the creeping monk and Kagome didn't hear Inuyasha's words as she watched Miroku reach down Inuyasha, a malicious glint in his eyes. Suddenly the whole night seemed to freeze and Inuyasha stiffened when he felt a hand rubbing a particular part of his body that no one was supposed to touch.

Whipping his head around and glancing down, Inuyasha was astonished beyond words when he found the monk caressing his rear. Kagome was just as shocked as Inuyasha and watched, wide eyed. Cracking his knuckles, Inuyasha growled as Miroku kept up his groping, laughing gaily.

A loud smack echoed throughout the forest and Miroku lay on the ground, his head growing a monstrous lump from Inuyasha's hit. Still pissed, Inuyasha yelled at the monk, "Don't you ever grab my ass again, you sick, gay pervert!" Miroku just giggled and Inuyasha gave up grunting to Kagome, "Come on." Miroku followed behind them, all the while chasing butterflies or playing 'tag' with the trees, where he would always win.

Kagome was still laughing as hard as she could and tears spilling down her face, her body shaking as she let out another howl of laughter and Inuyasha looked p'od. "What the hell is so funny, Kagome?" he asked sourly and Kagome rested her head on his shoulder, surprising him.

"Don't tell me you're still sour about the little incident right now?" Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, "No, I love having my rear caressed by another man." She giggled and smiled fondly up at the half demon. "Inuyasha, don't be such a poor sport. Sango has to deal with it all the time!" Inuyasha feh'd and walked on, Kagome's head still resting peacefully on his shoulder. Miroku suddenly came between them, causing Kagome to snap away from her hanyou's shoulder, for fear Miroku would crash through her neck.

Still giddy and drunk as ever, Miroku belched and then slurred, "I wanna go moon someone…" Both sober people stopped in their tracks and looked at each other in wonderment. Miroku stopped and turned around, almost falling. "Whasa matter?" Inuyasha suddenly got an evil glint in his eye and walked up to the swerving monk.

"You will, my good man." Kagome walked up to the two men and saw the look in Inuyasha's eyes. "Inuyasha…" she warned threateningly but he waved her off and, sighing, Kagome followed them as Inuyasha led Miroku down a different path. She didn't like whatever Inuyasha had planned one bit. Arriving at the edge of the woods, Inuyasha pointed to an unknown village. Kagome looked out to the small huts. It appeared to be an ordinary little village, but Inuyasha just grinned when she asked him what he was up to.

Miroku came stumbling along beside them and Inuyasha turned to him. "See those huts Miroku? Everyone in them wants to be mooned." Kagome's eyes widened as she realized what Inuyasha was doing, but before she could protest, he continued.

"All those huts, I want you to go in every one of them and moon whoever is in there. Now go!" Miroku ran off, whooping and shouting. Inuyasha rolled on the ground, laughing so hard that his sides hurt immensely.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome scolded, lightly hitting him in the chest. He got up and glanced to Kagome, his chuckling still heard. "Yes?" he asked innocently and Kagome glared.

"That was mean!" Kagome whispered angrily and Inuyasha grinned. "Revenge is a bitch, remember?" Suddenly they heard a scream and both looked to the village to find Miroku running in all of the huts, pulling down his robes, and laughing manically as people screamed. After going through all of the huts, he ran back to the forest and hid in time as they all came out, fuming. The trio hiding was laughing and, creeping away slowly, finally made it back to the main path.

"How much do you wanna bet that tomorrow morning in Kaede's village there will be talk of a drunken monk on a riot?" Kagome laughed and Inuyasha replied, still laughing, "Oh yeah. That's gonna be funny and I can't wait to see Miroku's reaction when he wakes up!" Miroku skipped up ahead of them and, finally, they made it back to Kaede's hut.

Miroku passed out on the floor and Inuyasha and Kagome both fell asleep against the wall, dreaming of dancing drunken monks.

In the Morning…

Miroku awoke to find a pounding in his temple and, rubbing his head, found Kagome and Inuyasha watching him curiously, the only ones awake this early. "What happened?" he said hoarsely, his head aching. They both burst into laughter and Miroku looked puzzled.

"What's so funny?" he asked, rather annoyed. Suddenly a man came running in, yelling for priestess Kaede. Kaede, Shippo, and Sango woke up immediately and Kaede confronted the young man.

"What is the meaning of this child?" she asked in a stern voice and the villager looked on the verge of laughter. Everyone paid close attention to the boy as he said, "There are rumors flying this morning about a monk running naked through all the huts in the village close to ours!" The boy noticed Miroku and yelled, "HIM! It was him!"

Kagome and Inuyasha burst into laughter once more, their sides hurting from laughing so much. The boy ran out screaming and everyone except the laughing couple stared at Miroku as if he was growing ears.

"Can someone please explain what is going on?" Sango asked, puzzled, and both Inuyasha and Kagome quieted down enough to tell the story.

"Well," they both began, grinning and giving each other a quick glance, "It's a long story…"

The End

**Well, hoped ya'll liked it and I promise, many more fanfics are in the future! I started on one called Inuyasha's Demon Mistake and it is awesome, I have 13 chapters already (haven't posted them yet, though ))**

**Peace out, **

**-kikyohater92-**


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